Time for another revolution: ‘Blackening the faces of alleged criminals’ to uproot Crime in India

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There comes a time when Injustice assumes enormous proportions, Police inaction is at its peak, ordinary citizens’ patience with existing law and order structure at its lowest ebb. This is the point where something extraordinary happens, and changes the posterity forever. In 2007, this ‘something extraordinary’ has taken a shape of ‘picking up a coal-powder packet and blackening the faces of alleged criminals', for the noble purpose of ending the crimes & social problems in this country forever.

I appeal to people to shrug the complacency, give up the lackadaisical approach to life, wake up from the slumber and pickup the ember! Join hands with me and many other disenchanted citizens to blacken the faces of villains such as dishonest school-principles, wanton professors, inept railway station masters, corrupt ticket-checkers, and many such scumbags.

This is not the time to wait for inept police & inefficient courts to play their respective roles. This is not the time to crib about the injustice you’ve suffered. This is the time to pick up coal from the nearby shop- or preferably a coal-powder packet- incite a mob of a few handfuls, call up the media channels, and blacken the faces of those alleged criminals, and serve the society with an example as to how dreadful the consequences will be, if you create situations which lead people to make grave allegations against you.

If we don’t act now, and don’t blacken the faces of the alleged criminals, our future generations will have to pay a hefty price. Yes, my friends, for the cost of not picking up a coal-powder packet is greater than cost of picking up one. (The latter is just 5 rupees). ‘The cost of inaction is greater than cost of action’, to put it in the words of George Bush, as spoken in the inspiring speech he made post-9/11-terrorist-attacks.

It’s the time to go straightaway to the school and chase that allegedly perverted professor up to the school-gate and blacken his face, or go straightaway to the railway stationmaster’s-office and blacken his face, and make him pay for his suspected inaction in improving railway facilities, or go straightaway to the hospital and blacken the face of the doctor who is alleged to have used indecent language against female patients.

After the faces of the said-alleged-criminals are blackened, they must be garlanded with chappals and paraded in the neighboring area. Just rub, rub and rub the coal-powder till the face starts resembling an Indian road that’s just been given a tar-finish, though in this case, unlike the tar-finish of Indian road that loses its luster too soon, the stigma of the coal-powder will stay on the alleged criminal’s face forever.

Let the sophistical arguments of those who oppose this measure deter you not! If they aver that you took the law in your hands, respond to it by saying that your hands were chock-a-block with coal-powder packets, how would you then have taken the law in your hands. If they lament that you should have waited for police to act, respond to it by citing how the police in real life are always late when it comes to taking action, just like they are in reel life. If they allege that you were being violent, ask them if the so-called victims of face-blackening haven’t ever played ‘Holi’ in their lives and how if they have, they should, for one more time, and if they have not, they should for the first time.

The detractors’ tongues will still continue to wag. They will even go so far as to allege that I am doing all this just to gain political mileage. That’s the trick by which they will attempt to deprive you-the self-appointed vigilante- of the credit for your deeds. But worry not, you will get full credit where it’s due. So make sure that all of you who are the members of my party completely dissociate yourselves from the party, in so far as your revolutionary “face-blackening” actions are concerned. For your actions, much as I would want to take some credit; for your benefit and for the benefit of this cause, I assure you, I shall completely distance myself from taking any.

Let the revolution whose seeds have already been sown be taken into the next stage! I have been informed that BEST bus-number 212 that commences at 9 am everyday in Mumbai is too-overcrowded and too uncomfortable-to-commute-by. Gear up! It’s time to blacken the face of the wretched bus-driver and end the problem of uncomfortable-commuting forever.

As Shahrukh Khan says in the ‘Lead India’ campaign ad., JUST DO IT!