Casting Couch

They say that a woman has to work half as hard to get twice the credit which man gets. Nothing affirms the truth of this maxim more than the gut wrenching experience I have had to go through.

It’s almost like all the hard work I put in not working hard got recognized for what it was. It’s almost like all the hard work I put in, by working hard didn’t get recognized. Read ahead.

My journey commenced when I was about 8 years old. I was privileged enough to have loving parents, parents who cared for me, parents who loved me from the bottom of their hearts, loved my hearts’ bottom and loved my bottom too.

It was actually when I was 12 years old that my epithelial duct was first fingered by my father. And it’s this which provided the initial nudge that one needs for a successful Bollywood career. Needless to say, this fingering and thumbing became quite commonplace after the age of 12. I also found some major changes in the functioning of my body, thanks to my father’s relentless rubbing, pecking and stroking of my body. Sure, there were times when my negligent father would ignore his duty of father and stay away for as long as a month with some other daughter of his, but while doing this, he always ensured that he had his friends to substitute for him and never allowed me to suffer the pangs of loneliness and neglect that many other children have to go through.

The seeds were sown. The ground work’s done. The foundation was ‘laid’. This is what I exactly needed for a bright, yet demanding career in Bollywood.

After this, it was smooth sailing. I migrated to Mumbai- the city of dreams at the age of 19. All those movies I had watched, all that rigorous training I had received from my father would give me the edge, which I needed. Yes, the edge to compete against thousands of stary-eyed-girls looking for a break in Bollywood, and to get ahead of em. From initially working in massage parlors, to working as model in condom ads, then to working in C-grade Bhojpuri movies, my march towards being in Bollywood was slow but sure.

I had turned 21 and bravo, I got an audition call from a popular movie director- a certain Madhur Bunglekar.Nervous was I initially in my meet- who wouldn’t be? This could have either made or broke my career. I was at the highest level, almost…just one step away from doing what only the rarest of rare and only the luckiest of lucky have achieved: A career break in Bollywood.

Interview went all good; I read the script, gave the audition, mouthed a few lines and was, much to my astonishment, offered the role of heroine in that film. Buoy, was I surprised!

Astonishing! Tragic! The director never even offered to sleep with me, and offered me a role without even alluding to the 3 letter word. In fact- don't know why- he rejected my offer to get laid with him. That’s how all my hard work came to naught. Bastard! I’ll sue that director for quashing my dreams of ‘performing at the highest level’. This certainly wasn’t the 'Bollywood career' I was dreaming for. Whatever suddenly happened to the practice of ‘casting couch’?

- As written by a 'soon to be Bollywood star'.